Rule #32 (It's Okay to Feel Big Emotions)

I am a person that does not cry. It's not that I can't, but that I have in a way conditioned myself to shut off my emotions. I think dealing with traumatic loss as a child jaded me. I began to believe that crying or any other similar emotion was nonsensical unless something terrible had happened or you were in serious physical pain. Hearing some of my friends say how they had cried twice in a month boggled my mind when the last time I had cried was nearly a year prior. Actually seeing people cry would make me incredibly uncomfortable and angry. I would even pride  myself on being a strong person that didn't crumble like others. After living the majority of my life this way, rule #32 "It's Okay to Feel Big Emotions," seemed very daunting, but after coming to the realization that not expressing emotions wouldn't' stop me from feeling them, I decided to try out the rule

The author says, "Sitting on our feeling isn't a good idea. They just get squashed that way" (Templar 66) which really hammered home for me. So I decided to cry. I won't lie and say it was a soul cleansing experience or that it completely broke the walls inside me because it didn't. I felt dejected, dismal, and dreary. The one emotion that I didn't feel was anger. I used to connect a great deal of anger towards the weakness that I saw in crying, but for the first time in awhile I wasn't mad at myself for expressing my emotions. I didn't feel shameful or weak. I just let myself feel sad. It definitely wasn't enjoyable, but I think it's exactly what I needed. The book helped me see that I wasn't less of who I was before I cried, "We can be quite emotional and still be in charge of what we are expressing" (Templar 67). I don't have to be guarded to be happy.

The way I made myself cry was by watching a movie. I searched for sad movies on Netflix and came upon Dear Zachary. It was a devastating documentary that left me empty afterwards and still hurts to think about, but I would definitely recommend it to anyone. It was very difficult to follow this rule, but I did it and I can honestly say I have no regrets. When is the last time you didn't cover up your emotions and just let yourself completely feel the moment?

Rule #25 (Have a Plan)

I absolutely love planning things. Making lists helps me cope with anxiety and the act of crossing off a completed task is very satisfying. I love feeling prepared for any situation and being able to map out exactly what needs to be done. Even if I'm only able to complete one small goal from a list, the act of setting out all of my goals helps keep me motivated to complete them in the long-run. So Rule 25 "Have a Plan" was great for me.






I have many goals and dreams in my life and since the book says, "If you don't plan your plan, it will remain a dream" (Templar 52). So I decided to plan out some of my dreams. One of the dreams I decided to focus on were future careers. I went through my top three career choices and researched  the training needed, salary, employment level, cost to achieve the goal, location, and my happiness level associated with that career choice. My choices were becoming a psychiatrist, psychologist, or to teach English abroad in foreign countries. This planning helped me gain a lot more knowledge on my future and what I could actually see myself pursuing. While I'm still not completely decided on what I want for a future career, planning out the possibilities was a fun experience.

The book says that, "Having a plan gives you a fallback position. When life gets hectic-and boy does it do that sometimes-it is easy to forget what we are here for" (Templar 53). So having multiple plans seems like a very reliable way to prepare for my future, and is there ever such a thing as being too prepared? Or does my love for planning make life too rigid and controlling? Currently I think I plan just enough and that's all that matters. The next subject I'm going to plan out are possible majors and colleges.

Rule #22 (Dress Like Today is Important)

I have always been a strong believer that how you present yourself to the world affects many aspects in your life, and that fashion is an amazing way to express yourself.  This belief was reaffirmed in Rule 22 “Dress Like Today is Important.” To me this rule is more than forcing people into one style category. It means that every moment in life has the potential to be great. So why wouldn’t you want to also look great during that moment?

  Whenever I was having a difficult morning or just felt like the day was already doomed and that returning to bed was the only option for survival, my mom told me to put on a great outfit. Now I live by that lesson. When I feel terrible inside I make the effort to not reflect that on the outside, and that simple act can turn my whole day around. As the book says, “If you greet each day as if it is important, then it will do wonders to your self-esteem, your self-respect, your self-confidence” (Templar 47). If I make the choice to not wallow in my sadness then that emotion disappears.

As I said earlier, this doesn't mean upholding a ridiculous standard for formal attire 24/7, but making an effort in how you present your unique self to the world. We are all incredibly different and diverse people, and we should express that through our clothing. I truly feel that its the conscious efforts and positive energy that make life great. If you put your happy conscious energy out into the world you will get that positivity back. "If you dress for each day expectantly, importantly, or fashionably, then each day will become that" (Templar 46). This week I plan to dress for success.

Rule #8 (The Rule Book)

This month I decided to look into Rule 8, Take an Interest in the Outside World, by downloading the Buzzfeed News app. The rule mainly covers how important it is to stay informed and take and outside interest in the world. I would usually just check the app 1-2 times a day as well as making the conscious effort to look up anything that I had questions about rather than just brush it off. One of my favorite quotes from the chapter was, “Taking an interest in the outside world is about developing you, rather than for the world’s benefit.” (Templar 19)

                My favorite thing about this rule was how informed it made me feel. It helped me gain knowledge of the world and an interest in journalism from reading some of the articles. I feel that it is very important to know what’s going on in the world despite only being a teenager. Even if an issue doesn’t seem to directly affect my own life it is still very important to someone else’s. I feel that having and interest about the outside world is also caring about the world. The book holds a similar statement, “The happiest, mot well-balanced, most successful people in life are those who are part of something. Part of the world.” (Templar 18)

                My grandma doesn’t like to watch the news because she feels that it is often too sad. Which is true, but avoiding something because it gives off a negative feeling doesn’t eradicate the problem itself. It only creates ignorance to these issues that lets them continue and worsen. I’ve been told many times that knowledge is power, and that power is necessary for change. I hold a device that can access basically anything and it seems redundant to not use it. We all have that potential for power, knowledge, and change so why don’t we use it?

The Beginning of Change

It seems that my way of living and thinking of things has always been in an attempt to learn, improve, and succeed. Whether this is just a product of a society that feasts on resolutions and quick improvements, or my own perfectionist (at times too much so) ideals, I have decided to read The Rules of Life by Richard Templar for my Quarter 2 IRP.

I always try to  make these "life changing" goals for myself that usually last no longer than a week. Ranging from my attempts to meditate daily or teach myself a new skill from an array of YouTube videos, the only thing that ever stuck was my vegan diet. I think this way of living greatly reflects who I am as a person. I live with this mindset that although I'm just fine as I am, their is always room for improvement and that I'm never actually good enough as is. That I have to pile on these interesting skills and hobbies that act as adjectives to who I am and what I've accomplished. It also shows the underlying existentialism I live by where no goal is too far fetched and that with a little dedication I can do anything. I'm going to use this mindset and The Rules of Life to try to create and all encompassing lifestyle change that will give me better outlook and more motivation to complete the smaller goals.


The Rules of Life is a great book for me to start out with. I'm a very list oriented person which flows nicely with the formatting of the 100 rules that the book holds. Already Rule #4 Accept Yourself, has stood out to me. I like to think I already have a pretty high self-esteem. I was lucky enough to have a mother that raised me to believe I was amazing, but as my past shows I am often trying to change little parts of myself. Therefore the quote in Rule #4 that stood out the most to me was, "You don't have to improve or change or strive for perfection. Quite the opposite. Just accept." (Templar 10). Personally this is a difficult idea to grasp and it is also hard to understand coming from book that is about changing your lifestyle. I think the message is that before you can improve you have to be ok with the what's already there. It somewhat reminds me of ceramics where before you can add a design, you should always smooth out the surface of the clay.


The other rule that stood out the most to me was Rule #5 Know What Counts and What Doesn't. Especially the quote, "Being here counts. Being kind and considerate counts. Getting through each day without seriously offending anyone or hurting anyone counts." (Templar 12). I think in this growing technological age this idea has become increasingly skewed. Is our online following really that important? Do the number of likes have any correlation to your happiness and fulfillment in life? Are you positively influencing other's lives with your actions? We live in such a self satisfying society, but I think we need to take some time and work on benefiting the world. Personally this rule strongly applies to my school life. I've spent years stretching myself thin for a 4.0, but will a perfect GPA actually change who I am? People aren't going to remember me for the grades I had, but rather how I impacted and affected them. We as humans have such potential in life and I think if we refocused our energy on the things that really mattered, the changes in the world would be immense.